I’m glad to be 25 and alive. (It’s my birthday today!)

A lot of changes has gone on this year and I only hope that 2010 will be even better!

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes and have a happy holiday season!

(WARNING: This is a big venting entry. It’s just everything that I’m feeling! Don’t say that I didn’t warn you!)

There is 365 days in the year. Out of those 365 days of the year, my job is available 363 days of the year. Which automatically gives me 2 days off, Thanksgiving day and Christmas day. There’s about 52 weeks in a year, and I work 10 hour days, 5 days a week or 6 days for a 45 hour week. That means I work about 254 – 264 days a year.

I have only one birthday in the year and most people would prefer to have that day off and you would think that they would have the common decency to give you that day off including if you are a hard worker. My birthday is this upcoming Monday. What is there really to do on a Monday? I don’t understand why I had to get upset just to get that day off.

I know that I sound selfish right about now but I hardly request off, I haven’t had a vacation in two years (since my job has been operative), the only time I used my 32 hour (earned) personal days is when an emergency happens and I can’t be there. In fact, last year I didn’t even use all of those personal days and they got deleted.

What my point is is that I only requested a day off on my birthday. I had to fight just to get it. I’m at that point where I feel like I’m being taken for granted. I don’t understand why I’m always needed when there is 3 other people who are capable of doing what I can do. I understand that when I do what is expected of me that it gets done 110%, but how will those others get close to that 110% if you don’t let them do it?

I understand that I am highly trusted and that no one has to worry if I do it, but I always feel like I’m running this ship with no help whatsoever.

The reason why I couldn’t initially get my birthday off (but I won on a technicality) was because we have an important person visiting, and everything needs to be done 100% before this person comes and I’m “the only one who can be trusted.”

This entry has nothing to do with me getting my birthday off, it has to do with never catching a break. I bust my ass day in and day out and my work shows but I don’t get a break. I get bitched at for being sick, so I go into work sick, I got scolded for getting injured at work and I was limping and I go to work, limping; I get phone calls to hurry up and come back as soon as possible if I’m at a business conference in another state. Once I requested to get a week of vacation, it got cut. That was the only time I’ve ever requested one by the way.

So… What do you think is going to happen if I just decide to get up and leave? They always rely on me to do everything that they never think of the consequences of when I get offered a better job, or do something different. What will happen?

It’s not my style to just leave automatically knowing that they will not be ok. I need them to be ok. Work is like my second family and I would never do anything to hurt the family. But if that better opportunity comes and I can’t pass it, what is going to happen?

I’m even afraid that if I go on vacation what will happen to my business? Will I get constant phone calls to tell me to come back? I’m just so tired and I would like a break. A long and relaxing, fat lard, break.

My grandma is really sick and I can’t even get a day off to spend the day with my family and her at the hospital while she’s in ICU. Wow, right?

I can’t wait until February. That’s when I can take my supposedly “vacation”. That would be nice. For once.

And it’s fucking assholes like YOU who talk all this good shit to make me not trust YOU at all.

I’ve been honest. That’s ALL the words that ever been spit from my mouth.

You know the saying: “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Fuck off.